Free Falling
by Thorns On a Rose
Summary: She's a good girl, loves her mama. I'm a bad boy, for breaking her heart.


Dry sobs shook her petite frame. Silver tears leaked from her brown eyes. Wind came from the North and blew her hair around her face. Vivid colored leaves fell from the trees over head. Autumn always was her favorite season. Maybe this should have waited.

As the sobbing slowly began to calm, I checked my watch. If I wasn't over with this soon, I might be late. "W-why, I-I love you, I really d-do, don't y-you?" I heard. Somewhere, deep, deep in my chest, I felt something. For awhile, I did care for her. The whole summer I knew her seemed so lighthearted, so innocent. That must have been what I liked most about her; I could lose myself with her. Truly speaking, though, I couldn't truly miss her. She was just another lonely face in the depths of my mind.

She's a good girl, loves her mama

Loves Jesus and America too

She's a good girl, crazy 'bout Elvis

Loves horses and her boyfriend too

But now I stand in front of her. She held herself together with her arms, pulling tighter against her chest as each moment dragged on. If she let go, my imagination is gone with me here, would she simple fall apart if she let go? Would her fingers fall off, one by one into a neat pile, or would they go everywhere? If she fell onto her back, would her soul come out of her pale lips in a silver mist like with a Dementor's Kiss? Maybe it shall simply stay in her corpse forever, to make sure her body stays pure forever.

I sighed. Dramatic, that's what she was, I didn't mean that much to her. "Get up," I ordered coldly. I really should be nicer to her; I did just ruin her life, for the moment at least. "Do you really think I would spend my life with you, a filthy American brat? Did you think we would grow old together? Have children?" I mocked, the words amuse me so much, and I have to laugh. Laughing felt so good right now, laughing at a lesser is even better. Even the cool, evil one sent pin-pricks down my spine.

It's a long day livin' in Reseda

There's a freeway runnin' through the yard

And I'm a bad boy, 'cause I don't even miss her

I'm a bad boy for breakin' her heart

For a moment, she seems to be about to speak. But she can't. Sadness does something to us. It takes everything from us. But it was only a fling, she was naïve, I know, but, can't she go greave with one of her friends or something? I need to leave, right now. I needed to get away, to just leave this mess behind. If I had an hour to not think about the War, my messed up family, or school, I swear, I would do anything. But now, I'm just kinda sitting on the edge of there.

If I could make on wish, or one prayer to a God I wasn't sure of, it would be to leave this Earth. To go back to that house I spent last summer in. The brown bricks, old floorboards, long forgotten Spanish feel were stained into my memories forever. Even though it was a Muggle infested area, I still had to have slight feeling for it. She lived next door. A hippie, that's what she called herself. She did have long hair, the beads, flowers and all. Her slow talk was what first attracted me to her, as she ate dinner with her parents.

And I'm free, I'm free fallin'

Wind in my hair, that's what I need. A high from having nothing under me but a broom, that's my only need. Playing Quidditch again, that would be great. Between the killings and meetings, I should really find time to play a match again. The sorry mass in front of me started to get worse; shaking like she was to really explode. I put a hand on her shoulder. "Goodbye," I told her, then turned on my heel, away from tears. A quick, suffocating feeling overcame me. With a loud crack, I landed at the gates of Hogwarts. My hands pushed the doors open with a heavy push. A shadow ran across the path in front of me. I smiled, why should I fear it anymore?

What was foolish enough to stand in the way of a Death Eater? Rabbits, I thought to myself, fox, maybe. Some stupid beat with little brain, a Muggle sort of thing. Why would I care? What would it do, hiss at me, or even better; call its forest friends and pee on me? Other, Darker thoughts filled my mind. Possessed goblins, cackling werewolves, and bloodthirsty vampires creped from crevices no one hopes to see in their mind.

All the vampires walkin' through the valley

Move west down Ventura Blvd

And all the bad boys are standing in the shadows

All the good girls are home with broken hearts

Quiet _taps_ followed my footsteps, mocking my hurried gait. Tonight, if I was lucky, sleep would come, followed with peace. Peace, freedom, and quiet. Firelight flickered from several of the castle's windows. Students cramming for test, most likely.

And I'm free, I'm free fallin'

Changing my determined direction; I headed toward to Quidditch pitch. The long awaited match didn't have to wait any longer. Life could wait for a minute, wait for me, for once. My broom still hid in the broom closet, just out of reach. The door never locked, Snape gave me permission to be out as late as I wanted to….this all was just so easy, so simple, and so normal.

Freedom! How sweet it was. So dangerous, so precious, and so, so important, nothing could describe sweet freedom. Flying gave me freedom, soaring over empty stands, where cheering fans should have scream for him to grab the Snitch, only ghost now. Quidditch wasn't one of his priorities now. Killing an innocent man was. How messed up his life was. If she was here, she would laugh at him, and then tell him to chill, life wasn't that complicated. Only a dirty, poor Muggle would say that, they don't understand.

I wanna glide down over Mulholland

I wanna write her name in the sky

I wanna free fall out into nothin'

Gonna leave this world for awhile

The broom under me dove straight into the black night, cutting through blackness with a sharp, _whizzing_ noise. One moment followed the other, nothing changing but the distance to the looming earth. Bliss coated my body. Every cell, every atom, vibrated with adrenalin, it's couldn't be measured, only felt. Scars pricked, not with pain but pure giddiness in my skin. Nothing mattered, only…flying. Flying closer, closer, ever so closer to hard, War-filled earth, where the evil pain was. Maybe, I thought bitterly, I could just not stop and die a slow, painful, deserved death.

Her image came to mind. No matter what anyone said, she was better off without me. She could marry another Muggle, have kids, and maybe even find world peace. She was safe, tucked away in sunny California. Safe, normal, just another face that didn't matter in the big picture, that's what she had to be in life. From inside my heart, my very soul, a tug pulled on my vocal cords. Deep, deep down, remembrance sparked into my mind. Opening my mouth, I laughed as my broom smashed into the earth at over ninety, killing me in seconds.

And I'm free, I'm free fallin'


End file.
